Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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