i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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