At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
