She's JV to your varsity
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
