I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
