I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
