so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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