Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
