dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
