the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
