so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
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