We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
