I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
