maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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