i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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