Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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