Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
