That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
