I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
