I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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