I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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