Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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