You can't motorboat a personality
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
