The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
