he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
