How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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