you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
