I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
