Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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