Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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