So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
