We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
