and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
