Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
