I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
