Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
