Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
