ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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