I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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