Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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