No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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