I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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