Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
