on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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