I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
