How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
