I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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