woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
