i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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