no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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