she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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