oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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